They explore how easy it is to think of relationships as something that exists only with “another”, and how that mindset can lead us to other ourselves: putting all our attention outward while missing what’s happening inside. From childhood conditioning and cultural messages about selflessness, to people-pleasing patterns and automatic responses shaped by early family dynamics, they unpack how our inner world quietly determines our point of view on everything else.

The conversation weaves together therapy, acting, embodiment and lived experience. Clare and Aileen talk about self-abandonment as a learned coping mechanism, dissociation as a way of staying safe, and the trance-like state many people live in for years, outwardly successful, inwardly disconnected. They reflect on how trauma, religion, gender expectations and code-switching can pull us away from ourselves, even when life looks “fine” on the outside.

Practical ways back into relationship with the self are explored throughout: checking in moment by moment, noticing sensations in the body, journalling, mirror work, walking with awareness, taking yourself on a “date”, and learning to speak to yourself with kindness rather than criticism. They also emphasise that self-connection rarely happens in isolation, support from trusted others is often essential to help us see ourselves more clearly and more truthfully.

Honest, thoughtful and deeply compassionate, this episode makes the case that investing in the relationship with yourself is not selfish, indulgent or frivolous, it’s foundational. And unlike many other relationships, it’s one where you have real agency to create change.