Losing it

In this reassuring and myth-busting episode, Clare and Janet talk openly about something many men experience but rarely discuss: losing an erection. They explore why erection difficulties can feel frightening or shameful, how partners often misinterpret them, and why the first - and most important - step is talking honestly with each other.

Drawing on years of therapeutic work, they explain the many reasons erections can become unreliable, from stress, anxiety and lifestyle factors to medications, health conditions, poor sleep, and the impact of porn habits or long-standing masturbatory techniques. They also highlight the importance of ruling out medical causes, reminding listeners that erection changes can sometimes be an early sign of treatable health issues.

Clare and Janet offer a wide range of practical solutions - from Viagra-type medications and vacuum pumps to Kegels, lifestyle changes, and exploring pleasure beyond penetration. They introduce psychological tools such as the “wax and wane” technique, strategies to reduce performance anxiety, and ways couples can rebuild intimacy without pressure.

Above all, they emphasise that erection difficulties do not define masculinity, desirability or the health of a relationship. Erections can ebb and flow, and sex can still be intimate, playful and fulfilling. With communication, curiosity and the right support, this is a problem most couples can navigate together.